Christmas with the Fallers

I have a lot of catching up to do... Or maybe I'll just pretend that I posted this on Christmas rather than over a month late.

I had to work the night before so played Santa at work, wrapping presents after the residents went to bed.

Got home, cleaned up, arranged presents, and went to bed because in a few short hours, I knew my kids were about to wake up.

Much to my surprise, I woke up before the kids. That. Never. Happens. I brought the kids into our room, and ran downstairs so I could record their faces when they came around the corner.

Christmas Eve, we had nothing under the tree. Not a single thing. Christmas morning, there was a nice array of presents under the tree and the kids were amazed when they saw everything.

Santa was the hero this Christmas.

......


Okay, in the end, Christmas was fantastic. Church was great and only an hour long (Hooray!) and then we were up to my brother's for dinner.

Aaand if I had actually posted this around Christmas-time it would have had a lot more details and pictures instead of me posting this on March 2 and just retroactively dating this to December 25 as if I were actually on top of things. Meh. Such is life, apparently.

The Beginning of a New Chapter

Remember in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (new one with Johnny Depp) when Charlie came home with the chocolate bar and then found out that he received the last Golden Ticket? Remember Grandpa Joe's reaction?

He jumped out of bed, hopping like a maniac, yelling,

 "YIPPEE!!!!!"

Well, that was my initial reaction yesterday when I finally saw my score on my Nursing School Exit Exam. This test also gives you a "likelihood to pass the NCLEX" conversion score and apparently I have a 99% percent chance of passing my boards on the first try. BRING IT ON, BABY!!!

It has been a long awaited time in my life. The last 18 months have been beyond hard and my little family certainly has been put through the refiners fire and have come out on the other side better because of it. My family has been incredible throughout this. My husband has been patient, supportive and simply amazing. My kids have been way more understanding than I ever thought when I put on scrubs to leave - 6 days a week at least. They have been strong and stalwart and I couldn't begin to imagine what life would have been like if I didn't have them to be my buffer from the stress and emotions building up within me.

To the last 18 months of my life, I will forever appreciate the person I have become in the end

But good riddance!

There are a lot of things to which I am looking forward.

I'm ready to have the time of day to do all the steps of laundry - wash, dry, fold AND put away all in one day. That hasn't happened in 18 months at least. Generally, I have been getting dressed out of the dryer for a year and a half. At least they were clean!

I'm ready to be a nurse and I'm ready to pay off bills.

I'm ready to not worry day to day about all the incredible amounts of what if's that could arise for which I would be utterly unprepared.

I'm ready to love my job and feel a sense of accomplishment when I put on my scrubs because I am a freaking NURSE!

I'm ready to be an actual mom again in action and not just title.

I'm ready to go to church activities and not feel guilty about neglecting my family even more than I already do.

I'm ready to go out to lunch with friends just to catch up without the worry of what else I should be doing with this time, money, etc, etc, etc.

I'm ready to work for a company that is a well-oiled machine.


I'm ready to take my kids to the park and enjoy the time there without thinking about the homework I should be doing.


I'm ready decorate my house.


I'm ready to have regular date nights with my husband because we can.

I'm ready to move on.

Montana. One of My Most Favorite Places. Ever.

This past weekend, I had one last getaway before school starts in Montana. It was absolutely fantastic. Good weather, good fun, good times with family - especially with family I hadn't seen in, literally, decades, and of course, whenever Thomas is around and has a new audience, the mandatory good food.

However, (every time I type/say/think "however," I hear my Dad's voice in my head saying, "However, comma." I have never known him to just say however in a conversation and finish his thought, he always actually says, and I quote, "However, comma, . . .")

Where was I? Oh, yes. However, there were hornets. And mean ones, to boot. Apparently in Superior, Montana this year, they have been bad and aggressive. Not just at the round house because no one was there to shoo them away, but just all around bad in the area. Within an hour of getting there, I was stung on the foot and Thomas scouted out a gigantic nest in the eaves of the house and killed it with two cans of wasp and hornet killer.

The next day, Thomas and Aiden were outside playing football and some hornets started swarming Thomas, so he ran in with Aiden and a few minutes later, Aiden started screaming and pulling at his leg because he was getting stung multiple times by a stinkin' hornet.

So we went on a Nest Hunt again. We knocked some down, Thomas was swarmed by some hornets again and ran off, lost his footing and did a cool, looked-like-it-was-on-purpose ninja roll and ended up bruising his ribs because he landed on a rock. Fantastic.

Then on Sunday, my nieces and nephews were playing Cops and Robbers, and my niece was stung, and then we went down to the river and my poor little girl was stung behind the ear.

Other than that, it was a great trip. Probably the best trip to Montana yet.

Today I Decided Life Will Forever and Always Be Insane

So to fill you in on the last 18 months of my life:

We moved from Florida in February, 2010.

May 24, 2010 I started nursing school.

Two days later, I started working as a CNA.

Five days later, my husband and I were rear-ended by a young, teenaged girl who was doing something on her phone. Myself and the kids were fine, but due to the position in which my husband was, he sustained nerve damage in his lower back.

And since then, life has been insane. Thomas stays at home and watches the kids while I work and go to school and try to squeeze in enough time with the family so that I don't fall asleep with exhaustion and guilt plaguing me on a daily basis.

School is fantastic. I am doing extremely well, many thanks to my Heavenly Father. On a continual basis, generally when I get emotionally drained, I have to remind myself that I have done what I thought was impossible and can hold on for another [           ] months. (Only four more months... only four more months..)

I am eternally grateful for my husband who has supported me and given me the strength and encouragement that I have needed when I am on the verge of losing it, and if I do get to the point of "lost it", he knows how to pick me back up.

Then comes some perspective. I think my life is hard, and it's easy to get down on myself and try to make people pity my situation and it seems that when I am on the search for someone to take pity upon me, I find something else entirely. I find a dear friend who is going through the same school process 300 miles from her husband. I find an old high school acquaintance who has a young child with health problems. I find single parents that are trying to do the best for their children while pursuing an education. I find someone who is trying to better their life and, due to a momentary lapse of judgement, needs to put their life on hold for the time being. I find a loving and doting husband of decades, visiting his sick wife on a daily basis, knowing that days are limited.

And they are holding up far better than I think I could. They are holding up admirally.

So life may always be insane in one way or another but I have found within the past few months, I am capable of so much more than I ever thought possible and if/when I begin to lax in that thinking, I have the most incredible people around me to lift me up and support me.


P.S. Today I also decided that I will blog more often. We'll see how that goes.

Happy Birth Day, Little Lady!

Our sweet daughter made her first appearance Wednesday, 7 October 2009.
Monday before I started having a lot of Braxton-Hicks and that evening we went over to Thomas' brother's house to have dinner and while I was cooking, the contractions went from just tightening of my stomach muscles to front to back cramping. They continued throughout the night and in the morning they were 15-25 minutes apart, lasting anywhere between 30 and 50 seconds. I called my midwife and she said that since they were still that far apart, and I had an appointment that afternoon at 3.00, just to wait until the appointment, unless they get closer. After lunchtime, we decided that we were going to drop Aiden off at Robbie and Michelle's and Thomas would go with me to the appointment in case they wanted me to stay and monitor me for a little bit. With all the running around of getting a nursing bra, just in case, and dropping Aiden off, my contractions jumped to 7-10 minutes apart.
At my appointment, I was taken back, and had an internal. She said that I definitely had dropped and I was effaced, but hadn't dilated any, but she would talk to the doctor to see what they thought was best. A few minutes later, she comes back into the room and tells us to go to the hospital because I will be having a C-section in two and a half hours.
We rush over to the hospital and get dressed in the flowy gown, we take a "last day pregnant" picture and Thomas gives me a blessing that everything would go well with the delivery and that Mommy and baby would be safe.
We get all ready, and then the nurse comes in and tells us that the doctor called and decided we would have the C-section performed in the morning, instead of that night. She wasn't sure of the reason behind this because she wasn't there when the doctor called, but I suspect it was so it'd be easier to monitor me if I did, in fact, have placenta accreta and have a lot of hemorrhaging. I'd rather be monitored during the day by more nurses and doctors than through the night when staff is at a minimum. So the longest night ever started.
The bed was terrible and plastic and hot. I was strapped up to lots of monitors and couldn't really fidget as much as I wanted and/or needed because it would make the monitors stop working. At 5 a.m. I gave up trying to sleep and just started getting ready for the day.
We got ready and they took me back to the Operating Room. Most everything went fine during the surgery. I threw up, which was a hard and difficult thing to do. I had no stomach muscles to push it out, so it kind of just dripped out of my mouth and down the side of my face the first time. After that, I spit it into the little bowl Thomas was holding for me, but some of it overshot the bowl and got all over Thomas' hand. Oh, the things you do for love.
While they were cutting me open, Cecilia's head was pressed up right against the uterine wall, and they cut her head a little bit. It was very superficial and stopped bleeding with just the pressure of gauze and the little hat's babies get from the hospital.
Afterwards, they took me back to the recovery room and I was able to hold Celia and nurse her right away. She latched on immediately and we were on our way.
The rest of our hospital stay went by fairly quickly. I was in much better shape this C-section than last and was even able to walk to my new room just 12 hours after surgery. It was slow going, but I did it.
I am so grateful our little girl is here and I am excited to finally be able to get to know the person who so tormented me from inside for the past eight and a half months.

Happy Birthday, Old Man!

My husband's birthday was yesterday.

He started his birthday celebrations Saturday morning with a trip down to Tampa, Florida so he could go see Metallica with his three brothers. I'm really glad he was able to do this, he has never been to a concert with any of them and to have all three of them there with him, seeing their favorite band, is awesome. Also, they had a lot of time to just hang out before and after the concert without the worries of wives and kids.
He said it was probably the best concert he's ever been to and considering all the concerts he has attended, that's really saying something. But when you're seeing Metallica, can you really expect anything less?
He spent the night in Tampa Saturday night and came home Sunday morning. Afterwards we went out to his parents to hang out with his family for dinner and to listen to the Miami Dolphins game, which they won. Go Dolphins! Aiden was being a royal pain in the behind, hoarding the fried okra from the other kids and trying to beat them up if they came too close to "his precious". (Like the Lord of the Rings reference there? Yeah.. I'm a nerd.) But eventually we just went outside to brave the mosquitoes and to hang out with the menfolk.
Then we came home, put Aiden to bed and then spent a wonderful evening together before calling it quits and going to bed.

Here's to one more year!

It's Good, Momma, I Promise!

There is no doubt in my mind that my son is 100%, absolutely, through and through all boy. He is disgusting and dirty and a dork all at once.

Never when I make a nice meal does he eat it and say, "Mmmmm, Good!" Or rather, to spell it phonetically correct with his 20 month old accent, "Ummm, goo-eh!" It's always when he is eating the dog's food or drinking milk that's been sitting in his sippy cup all day long that he saves the "Mmmm, Good!" declaration.

Tonight, another one reached the ranks of the "Mmmm, Good!" Hall of Fame. We have seasonal allergies and along with those come funny boogers. The boogers that you can't really blow but drive you crazy all day long. I understand that sometimes with funny boogers you have no choice but to pick your nose, especially when you are a disgusting, dirty, dorky little boy that just found out that your finger is a perfect fit in your nostril. So he was picking his nose and after getting a big, honking booger out of his nose, he proceeded to try to eat it. I stopped him and told him it was yucky and as I was trying to wipe it off the tip of his finger he pops it into his mouth with lightning speed and declares that it is "Mmmm, Good!" I tried to tell him it was yucky, yucky, yucky but he just kept trying to tell me that it was good.

Well, tonight as I was putting him to bed, we read our scripture stories, turned out the lights and then said our prayers and then while I was singing him a song, he was using the darkness of his room to pick and lick his boogers because he said "Mmmm, Good!" one more time and then tried to shove a booger into my mouth. Apparently, I am missing out on something amazing in this world, and it is his mission to open up my eyes.

At least he was trying to share.

Impromptu Trip to Utah

Aiden and I just got back from our quick trip to Utah and it was fantastic.
I was super nervous about flying without Thomas, 7 months pregnant with a 19 month old boy, but apparently those circumstances make most everybody pity you and hook you up with good seats. :)
We had a layover in Atlanta, Denver and then were in Salt Lake by 4.00 pm on Saturday. We had good seats that gave time to let Aiden be entertained or have the space he needed in his own seat. When we got to the airport, we sat there for an hour before my mom finally asked the information desk if she could find out if a passenger had landed. The information desk then told her that she was in the wrong terminal. Thank goodness that was it. I spent that hour calling my siblings over and over and trying to come up with a logical explanation as to why my mom wouldn't be there but kept coming up short and freaking out thinking she was in an accident. It's times like this that I wish she had a cell phone. (Hint, hint!!!)
That evening, and the next three and a half days, I spent at Tracy-Ann's house just hanging out. Sunday I was able to go to the Oquirrh Mountain LDS Temple Dedication, and despite the heat in the cultural hall of the church, it was absolutely and amazingly beautiful.
We were able to work on the blankets my mom and Tracy have been making for Aiden and Cecilia, make me a huge, pregnant-lady apron in hopes that my clothes will be a little less stained and just spend time together while her daughters smothered Aiden with their every action. Brenna also came up on Tuesday and hung out with us for the day and even spent the night, so we had a big sleep over on the couch in the basement.
I was going to go up to Montana with my parents Monday through Wednesday, but at the last minute decided to stay home because Aiden wasn't taking naps and was still on Florida time despite my putting him to bed on Utah time, so he was losing a good 3-4 hours of sleep a day and I didn't think he would make the 10 hour drive to Montana to turn around and do it again a couple days later to turn around and fly home a couple days later. I also didn't think my pregnant body would be able to handle it as well as I had been hoping.
Wednesday I went home with my parents and then spent Thursday shopping with my mom for a few things here and there and then went up to Dennie and Hillary's for the evening.
My mom and I took Dennie's girls and Aiden to a softball game Dennie was playing in and then it was time for bed.
Friday I had one last farewell with everyone at Golden Corral and then it was off to the airport.
My first flight was delayed 30 minutes because the crew was doing the security checks and when I landed in Denver, they were holding the plane for myself and one other guy, so we ran to the next door gate to barely catch our breath before it was time to take off again.
Luckily, again, people took pity on me and Aiden and I had three seats to ourselves and the plane had TV's on the back of every seat so Aiden was entertained with Nickelodeon and looking out the window.
Our last flight was delayed by 30-40 minutes because the flight crew was caught up with their previous flight. They had a medical emergency while in flight and had to take care of the passenger and then fill in the people you fill in when you land. So finally at 12:35 a.m. technically Saturday morning, I arrived in Jacksonville. Super long day.
I am so glad I was able to spend time with my family one last time before the baby is born and look forward to seeing my mom in a few weeks! :)

Thank you, Thomas, for being so willing to let me go.

I'm Homeward Bound!!

Thomas and I obviously fly quite a bit to see my family and because we do, we frequently get emails from Travelocity letting us know of good deals on flights. Well, today Thomas got an email with low fares from Jacksonville to Salt Lake City. Thomas checked them out, and we found that I could fly home before the baby was born for $250, but womp, womp, it was too close for my due date.

So we checked for flights leaving this weekend and hooray! We found one that was cheap enough, so Aiden and I will be flying out to Utah this Saturday and coming back the following Friday. I am super ecstatic because I get especially homesick when I am pregnant. Crazy hormones. I can't wait!

Time to go do laundry!! :D :D :D

Fourth of July Weekend

So for the Fourth of July, we went out to the "compound" (the property where the family lives, and we used to live) and had a nice BBQ. We were going to go to neighboring cities to see fireworks, but decided last minute that it wasn't worth it for the three of us seeing as how Aiden probably wouldn't even remember it in the morning. So, we went out on the boat on the Suwannee River. This was my first time on the boat and it was pretty awesome. Aiden was very hesitant at first but as it turns out, he has much better sea legs than I do. But honestly, who's that surprised?
We were out with Pop-pop, Daddy, his cousin Zach, Aiden and myself and it was fantastic to just ride along with the wind blowing in our faces. Aiden especially loved that and would stick his tongue out like a dog when we would be going fast.
I wish I could say I took pictures the entire time, but I was way too much of a nervous Nelly and was busy making sure Aiden wasn't in the way of the fishermen and I was also the official cutter of hot dogs for the boys because I couldn't fish because I don't have an up-to-date fishing license, but here are some pictures when we stopped at a beach near the end so Aiden could play in the water.
And just so you know, the water is supposed to look like that. At least, it always does because of the tanic acid created from all the leaves that fall in it. It's essentially a tea river.

Happy Father's Day!!

So, I've been pretty terrible about updating this lately. Clearly.
But I would be completely remiss if I didn't publicly wish Thomas and my own dad a Happy Father's Day! Not that he ever looks at this, so this is really for everyone else to know that I love the men in my life! They really have been wonderful examples for me.
From my own dad, I learned the importance of a testimony of Jesus Christ and the gospel and how that should influence my life in absolutely all that I do. That I should take time out of my life to sit down and read my scriptures on a daily basis so I have a better understanding of what I need to do as a wife, mother and daughter of God and the importance of having daily family prayers. Thank you so much for everything you have taught me, and I pray that you may have patience with me, as I am still learning and sometimes I get fed up and petty.
From my husband, I learned the importance of taking time out and playing with our kids, especially when the time is not convenient. I learned that the laundry doesn't need to be done this second, that getting him a sippy cup right now doesn't matter when you can take a second to wrestle with him and give him lots of kisses til he is red in the face from laughing, just to emphasize the fact that we love him.
So, happy father's day! I wish you the best day ever and thank you for letting me be a part of your lives!!

P.S. As the ultimate Father's Day present from Cecilia Ann, she kicked hard enough to let Thomas feel her kick through my stomach for the very first time. Talk about holding out for perfect timing.

Memorial Day Decorations

Today we woke up bright and early and headed down to my parents house to cut flowers from the garden and make the arrangements for the gravestones.
I absolutely missed doing this and it was such a relaxing tradition. We made four arrangements: one for each of my mom's brothers headstones, one for her parents headstone and one for her grandparents headstone. After going through and cutting all the flowers and making the arrangements, we headed up to the cemetary.
We went all over and placed mums on most of her relatives graves while my dad assumed his normal position of telling whoever would listen how this person was related to this person and how that tied into our family and how they got here and that so and so was actually so and so's second wife when most thought she was the first. It was absolutely fantastic.
We had a couple mishaps. Jacob hit his head somehow and started bleeding but considering it stopped fairly soon, it wasn't too bad. Just enough to hurt. And we forgot the water buckets and crosses for my Grandpa Greenhalgh and Uncle Ned which signified that they served in the military.
Then it was back to my parents house for a BBQ in the sprinkling rain. It was nice to have all of our family together, even John came up for the weekend because he had it off. Aiden just ran around and kind of mooched off of anyone who was willing to give him food while I was able to just sit and relax and soak it all in.
That afternoon, Thomas volunteered to take Aiden up to Dennie's house while I stayed at my mom's so I could work on the quilt Tracy, my mom and I are making for Aiden. Apparently Aiden missed me a lot because he kept going from room to room, poking his head in and asking, "Momma?"

It is good to be loved.