Another Milestone Bites the Dust

I finished my capstone a few nights ago and what a great feeling it is.

Even a greater feeling is reading the evaluations from my clinical liaison and my preceptor. They stated that they would be priviledged to work side by side with me someday and that is a great feeling coming from two people that I really look up to and aspire to be like when I am a nurse. With clinicals being a one on one thing between you and your nurse, I never see what my classmates are like with their nurses. I know what my dearest of friends are like and they are much like me - that's why we're dearest of friends. But apparently not many people are like me. Not confident in what they can do, or even allowed to do as a student. Not comfortable with the skills they learned on dummies and now trying to transfer that to a real patient that is nervous. I get it, it's nerve wracking, I was that person the first few clinicals I had and then I found my niche and pushed ahead because I'd much rather do that while I am a student and it is okay and expected to ask questions instead of when I'm a nurse and feel less qualified than the tech on the floor and I think people took notice of that.

Super. Awesome.

Last night was incredible. I was able to truly be a nurse - my preceptor let me take the reigns and push ahead. I did newborn admit assessments by myself, gave shots to said newborn, gave them baths, even assisted in delivering a baby, up front and personal seeing as how the doctor didn't make it to the big event. What an incredible feeling it was to watch a fantastic preceptor stay calm and collected while delivering a baby by herself and I was right there in the thick of things, intimately involved in the delivery process, just as if I were a nurse.

I had a giant epiphone during that experience - I was right at the patient's side and I saw a nurse just standing idly by, so I asked if she wanted to take over, and she looked me straight in the eye and said, "Why would I take over when you are doing everything you should?" And then my epiphone hit me - I AM GOING TO BE A FREAKING NURSE IN THREE MONTHS!! (God willing I pass the NCLEX and get a job.)

And that's the most awesome thing I have ever realized.

C'est la Vie

At the request of a dear friend from work, I must update my blog.

Life has been overwhelmingly ho-hum. I have started my capstone in the Women's Center at my local hospital (Hooray for not having to drive more than 5 minutes to get there!). Initially, it was just in Post-Partum... over night... with two part time nurses that get called off all the time. So! I worked my way over to Labor and Delivery, which is slightly more exciting. So far, I have completed 4 nights on Post Partum, and one on Labor and Delivery which makes a total of 5 out of my required 9. So. Stinking. Close. Only one more night on Post Partum and three more on Labor and Delivery and in a short (let's hope and pray) 11 days from now, I will be done with my capstone experience. And luckily, I will not have any more 24+ hour "days." Just a lot of switching my schedule back and forth in a matter of days between night Capstone and day classes.

meh.

I have gone back to being scheduled at work which, in short, is exhausting. I have been so disillusioned with working as a CNA at an Assisted Living Facility as I get closer and closer to becoming a nurse and getting certifications that will hopefully put my foot a little bit further in the door of Emergency Care - i.e. as far from Long-Term Care as possible.

That's not to say I don't have a deep and profound love for those of whom I take care. It's really incredible the love that develops when you serve others, even if it is in a setting where they are forced to accept per se due to handicaps and you are paid to provide.

School... well, I'm burned out, to say the least. Just trying to keep up with how I've been doing previous semesters so I don't blow all my hard work because I have an emotional break down. Or two.... or three.

ALSO! I've been called as a Relief Society Instructor. I have yet to teach, and hope I can buy time for two more Sundays. Only lesson I've learned is that Heavenly Father does have a sense of humor, but who am I to doubt if I can or cannot do it? Somebody out there thinks I can and if there is anything I've learned in the last 18 months is that I can do a whole heck of a lot more than I ever imagined and still be able to wake up and face the next day.

Also, this was birthday week. Thomas' birthday was on Tuesday and I had stinking Capstone that night so all we did was go out to lunch after Aiden went to a friend's birthday party. And Celia's birthday is tomorrow. Pictures will be posted. No promises that it'll be tomorrow.


Or even anytime in the near future.


P.S. You're welcome, Chantel. Hope it was worth it.