Another Milestone Bites the Dust

I finished my capstone a few nights ago and what a great feeling it is.

Even a greater feeling is reading the evaluations from my clinical liaison and my preceptor. They stated that they would be priviledged to work side by side with me someday and that is a great feeling coming from two people that I really look up to and aspire to be like when I am a nurse. With clinicals being a one on one thing between you and your nurse, I never see what my classmates are like with their nurses. I know what my dearest of friends are like and they are much like me - that's why we're dearest of friends. But apparently not many people are like me. Not confident in what they can do, or even allowed to do as a student. Not comfortable with the skills they learned on dummies and now trying to transfer that to a real patient that is nervous. I get it, it's nerve wracking, I was that person the first few clinicals I had and then I found my niche and pushed ahead because I'd much rather do that while I am a student and it is okay and expected to ask questions instead of when I'm a nurse and feel less qualified than the tech on the floor and I think people took notice of that.

Super. Awesome.

Last night was incredible. I was able to truly be a nurse - my preceptor let me take the reigns and push ahead. I did newborn admit assessments by myself, gave shots to said newborn, gave them baths, even assisted in delivering a baby, up front and personal seeing as how the doctor didn't make it to the big event. What an incredible feeling it was to watch a fantastic preceptor stay calm and collected while delivering a baby by herself and I was right there in the thick of things, intimately involved in the delivery process, just as if I were a nurse.

I had a giant epiphone during that experience - I was right at the patient's side and I saw a nurse just standing idly by, so I asked if she wanted to take over, and she looked me straight in the eye and said, "Why would I take over when you are doing everything you should?" And then my epiphone hit me - I AM GOING TO BE A FREAKING NURSE IN THREE MONTHS!! (God willing I pass the NCLEX and get a job.)

And that's the most awesome thing I have ever realized.