The Beginning of a New Chapter

Remember in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (new one with Johnny Depp) when Charlie came home with the chocolate bar and then found out that he received the last Golden Ticket? Remember Grandpa Joe's reaction?

He jumped out of bed, hopping like a maniac, yelling,

 "YIPPEE!!!!!"

Well, that was my initial reaction yesterday when I finally saw my score on my Nursing School Exit Exam. This test also gives you a "likelihood to pass the NCLEX" conversion score and apparently I have a 99% percent chance of passing my boards on the first try. BRING IT ON, BABY!!!

It has been a long awaited time in my life. The last 18 months have been beyond hard and my little family certainly has been put through the refiners fire and have come out on the other side better because of it. My family has been incredible throughout this. My husband has been patient, supportive and simply amazing. My kids have been way more understanding than I ever thought when I put on scrubs to leave - 6 days a week at least. They have been strong and stalwart and I couldn't begin to imagine what life would have been like if I didn't have them to be my buffer from the stress and emotions building up within me.

To the last 18 months of my life, I will forever appreciate the person I have become in the end

But good riddance!

There are a lot of things to which I am looking forward.

I'm ready to have the time of day to do all the steps of laundry - wash, dry, fold AND put away all in one day. That hasn't happened in 18 months at least. Generally, I have been getting dressed out of the dryer for a year and a half. At least they were clean!

I'm ready to be a nurse and I'm ready to pay off bills.

I'm ready to not worry day to day about all the incredible amounts of what if's that could arise for which I would be utterly unprepared.

I'm ready to love my job and feel a sense of accomplishment when I put on my scrubs because I am a freaking NURSE!

I'm ready to be an actual mom again in action and not just title.

I'm ready to go to church activities and not feel guilty about neglecting my family even more than I already do.

I'm ready to go out to lunch with friends just to catch up without the worry of what else I should be doing with this time, money, etc, etc, etc.

I'm ready to work for a company that is a well-oiled machine.


I'm ready to take my kids to the park and enjoy the time there without thinking about the homework I should be doing.


I'm ready decorate my house.


I'm ready to have regular date nights with my husband because we can.

I'm ready to move on.

C'est la Vie

At the request of a dear friend from work, I must update my blog.

Life has been overwhelmingly ho-hum. I have started my capstone in the Women's Center at my local hospital (Hooray for not having to drive more than 5 minutes to get there!). Initially, it was just in Post-Partum... over night... with two part time nurses that get called off all the time. So! I worked my way over to Labor and Delivery, which is slightly more exciting. So far, I have completed 4 nights on Post Partum, and one on Labor and Delivery which makes a total of 5 out of my required 9. So. Stinking. Close. Only one more night on Post Partum and three more on Labor and Delivery and in a short (let's hope and pray) 11 days from now, I will be done with my capstone experience. And luckily, I will not have any more 24+ hour "days." Just a lot of switching my schedule back and forth in a matter of days between night Capstone and day classes.

meh.

I have gone back to being scheduled at work which, in short, is exhausting. I have been so disillusioned with working as a CNA at an Assisted Living Facility as I get closer and closer to becoming a nurse and getting certifications that will hopefully put my foot a little bit further in the door of Emergency Care - i.e. as far from Long-Term Care as possible.

That's not to say I don't have a deep and profound love for those of whom I take care. It's really incredible the love that develops when you serve others, even if it is in a setting where they are forced to accept per se due to handicaps and you are paid to provide.

School... well, I'm burned out, to say the least. Just trying to keep up with how I've been doing previous semesters so I don't blow all my hard work because I have an emotional break down. Or two.... or three.

ALSO! I've been called as a Relief Society Instructor. I have yet to teach, and hope I can buy time for two more Sundays. Only lesson I've learned is that Heavenly Father does have a sense of humor, but who am I to doubt if I can or cannot do it? Somebody out there thinks I can and if there is anything I've learned in the last 18 months is that I can do a whole heck of a lot more than I ever imagined and still be able to wake up and face the next day.

Also, this was birthday week. Thomas' birthday was on Tuesday and I had stinking Capstone that night so all we did was go out to lunch after Aiden went to a friend's birthday party. And Celia's birthday is tomorrow. Pictures will be posted. No promises that it'll be tomorrow.


Or even anytime in the near future.


P.S. You're welcome, Chantel. Hope it was worth it.

Random Thoughts for a Random Day

I love Christmastime. When I see Christmas decorations go up for sale in the stores before Halloween, it takes all I have to wait for Thanksgiving to put up my tree.

On a similar note, I think I am going to make it a tradition to put the Christmas Tree up for Family Home Evening the Monday before Thanksgiving and every ornament we put up, we have to name something we are thankful for. That way I can get my tree up earlier, tie in the two holidays and keep Christmas from stealing Thanksgiving's thunder.

I don't know if it's just me, but dead batteries feel lighter and more hollow than brand new batteries. I wonder if it is actually that way, or if I am just making it all up.

Recently my husband and I have had separate conversations with our mothers about memories we have of things that happened when we were younger and when we actually found out when it happened, it's when we were like two or three years old. Realizing this, and seeing as how my son is almost two years old, the things he remembers now or soon, he could potentially remember for the rest of his life. Which makes me think; what things am I doing now that I want to change before my son remembers me doing it? Do I want him to remember me sitting at the computer on Facebook while he is eating breakfast? Is that really such a big deal? I haven't decided yet.

I'm going to be moving across country in a few months. Any suggestions on how to keep a two year old and a four month old occupied for a possibly four day trip? Especially if I move out there before my husband to go to school.

It is so heartwarming to see my son try to be like his Daddy. He will stand next to him and prop his foot up and then check to make sure he's doing it just right. He will pretend to shave. He will act tough and speak with a booming voice. But my favorite is when he drinks his milk from a soda can, pretend to belch and then say "smee me" (excuse me) in a really sheepish way.

The Deer in My Freezer

A few weeks ago, we were driving out to Nana and Pop-Pop's right as the sun was setting. Thomas and I were just talking our drive away when out of no where we heard a giant thunk. I had no idea what we had hit, but he had seen a deer run out in front of the car. It was so quick that he didn't even have time to take his foot off the gas, much less hit the brakes. He immediately turned around and we found it on the side of the road. We had hit the very back of it's leg and it's shin (do deer have shins?) was broken. All the damage we had to the car was a small dent on the edge of our hood that is easily fixed by ourselves, a cracked headlight, and a broken bulb. We have a spare bulb in our car (who knew?) so a after measely $35 for a new headlight front he scrap yard, we are back to normal. We are extremely fortunate it wasn't anymore than that.

He called his brother to come out and bring his truck so we could take it home and cut it up to freeze. Then we heard it grunting at my husband. Apparently, we didn't kill it.

So my husband, the hunter that he is, took his pistol, trekked into the woods, following the trail the deer left (all six feet of it into the trees), hunted it down and then shot it in the head, trying to put it out of it's misery. That didn't work. It was still alive for a little while after that, but it wasn't going anywhere. Sorry, Bambi.

After a trial run in cutting a deer, we now have 15 beer 'n cheddar flavored sausage links, 5 lbs of breakfast pan sausage, 3 lbs of general seasoned pan sausage, 1.5 lbs of italian pan sausage, and a bunch of roasts and back straps and whatnot. I'd say that's a pretty good deal for $35.00.

Not too bad for the first day of gun season.

Happy Birthday, Old Man!

My husband's birthday was yesterday.

He started his birthday celebrations Saturday morning with a trip down to Tampa, Florida so he could go see Metallica with his three brothers. I'm really glad he was able to do this, he has never been to a concert with any of them and to have all three of them there with him, seeing their favorite band, is awesome. Also, they had a lot of time to just hang out before and after the concert without the worries of wives and kids.
He said it was probably the best concert he's ever been to and considering all the concerts he has attended, that's really saying something. But when you're seeing Metallica, can you really expect anything less?
He spent the night in Tampa Saturday night and came home Sunday morning. Afterwards we went out to his parents to hang out with his family for dinner and to listen to the Miami Dolphins game, which they won. Go Dolphins! Aiden was being a royal pain in the behind, hoarding the fried okra from the other kids and trying to beat them up if they came too close to "his precious". (Like the Lord of the Rings reference there? Yeah.. I'm a nerd.) But eventually we just went outside to brave the mosquitoes and to hang out with the menfolk.
Then we came home, put Aiden to bed and then spent a wonderful evening together before calling it quits and going to bed.

Here's to one more year!

The Day Shift/Night Shift Debate

My husband and I continually butt heads over his work schedule. There's nothing we can do about it, it changes on a monthly basis most of the time, but I am a big fan of day shift and he is very much a fan of night shift.
I wish I could be fair and balanced in this, but since Thomas doesn't blog, and I do, I have a feeling this will be a little one sided.
I can understand that night shift as a cop is much more interesting because that's when you get to deal with the underbelly of society instead of monotonous traffic tickets and accidents which equates to lots of paperwork and traffic court. I understand that, especially for a night person, 5:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. goes a lot slower than the flip side of that. I understand that during Florida summers, driving around in a patrol car, wearing a polyester uniform with a bullet proof vest while sitting on pretty much plastic seats is extremely hot and quickly drains any energy you have.
Despite all that, I prefer day shift and love that it has to come around once in a while. I love the days he has off and the mornings we spend together. Actually wondering what I will make for breakfast because when it's just my 20 month old son who eats disgusting stuff on a regular basis, and myself, why make anything fancier than a bowl of cereal? If I do feel fancy that day, I'll cut up a banana and throw it in the cereal, but when Thomas has a day off, I can dream of breakfast of French Toast or Waffles or even a delicious breakfast burrito because it's worth the effort to do that for my husband. I love that when he is on day shift I can lay in bed when I hear Aiden wake up and be able to say, "It's your turn to get him", so I can lie in bed a little bit longer without the guilt of leaving my adorable son in his crib while I am trying to find motivation to lug my giant, pregnant belly out of bed and immediately to the bathroom because I have a bad case of pregnant-lady-stand-up-pee's. I love that I have an entire day with him on his days off, as opposed to just the afternoon hours because he is sleeping all morning long. I love that, even on the days he works, I can look forward to having lunch and dinner with him instead of making him lunch when he wakes up, two hours after I have eaten my lunch, and making him dinner while trying to get Aiden ready for bed, two hours after I have eaten dinner. I frequently have PB&J or a ham sandwich for dinner when he is on night shift because I get tired of making so many individual meals throughout the day which adds up to a lot of dishes to do everyday.
Most of all, I love day shift because he has normal sleeping hours, which means I don't have to fight my son all morning long from waking up Daddy. I don't have to try to explain to my toddler that Daddy needs his sleep and you can't play with him right now, no matter how pathetic his cries. I love that Daddy is his best friend and he so desperately yearns to be with him and play with him, but it breaks my heart when I have to pull him away from our bedroom door every 30, 15, 2 minutes to try to explain to him that Daddy can't wrestle or make him fly or throw him onto the bed, but he will after nap time.

How in the world do you accomplish that? Maybe someday I will have the motivation to actually get out of the house and play at the park or go for a walk to kill some of the long morning hours, but as of right now, Florida is just too humid and too hot and I am too pregnant to even entertain the idea of going someplace outside to kill some time. I guess I am just a glutton for punishment.

Happy Father's Day!!

So, I've been pretty terrible about updating this lately. Clearly.
But I would be completely remiss if I didn't publicly wish Thomas and my own dad a Happy Father's Day! Not that he ever looks at this, so this is really for everyone else to know that I love the men in my life! They really have been wonderful examples for me.
From my own dad, I learned the importance of a testimony of Jesus Christ and the gospel and how that should influence my life in absolutely all that I do. That I should take time out of my life to sit down and read my scriptures on a daily basis so I have a better understanding of what I need to do as a wife, mother and daughter of God and the importance of having daily family prayers. Thank you so much for everything you have taught me, and I pray that you may have patience with me, as I am still learning and sometimes I get fed up and petty.
From my husband, I learned the importance of taking time out and playing with our kids, especially when the time is not convenient. I learned that the laundry doesn't need to be done this second, that getting him a sippy cup right now doesn't matter when you can take a second to wrestle with him and give him lots of kisses til he is red in the face from laughing, just to emphasize the fact that we love him.
So, happy father's day! I wish you the best day ever and thank you for letting me be a part of your lives!!

P.S. As the ultimate Father's Day present from Cecilia Ann, she kicked hard enough to let Thomas feel her kick through my stomach for the very first time. Talk about holding out for perfect timing.